Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Birthday Theories and Ramblings

By the time you read this I will be 24 years old. Yeah I said it. OLD.
In dog years I'm 168.
This birthday, however was better than most.
It helps to spend your birthday with the one you love.
More importantly one who loves you back.
Sex, sex, sex. That helps too. Although you maybe old, sex keeps the libido young.
and in the end isn't that all that matters?
Learn something new on your birthday.
Otherwise you're not perpetuating the age-old saying; "another year older, another year wiser"
and that is a travesty.
'Cause then we'd have a world full of people who haven't properly learned to drive.
Oh wait...
Do something fun.
Whether it's laughing at yourself,
or the swarm of bees that just splattered all over the front of your truck doing 75 on the highway.
Seriously. Laugh dammit.
Maybe try and rent a little motor boat at the lake.
And when the boat dock is closed, come up with clever ways to steal one.
But don't.
'Cause then we'd have a world full of people locked up for petty theft.
And that would be a travesty.
Lastly, Drink.
Consume alcohol like it's free.
'Cause chances are it is.
Make your liver remember what it's true function is.
After all, it is getting pretty old.

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